Communication

What Is Communication?

There are many ways to define communication. The simplest definition is simply to "make known." Another definition is "to give or interchange thoughts, feelings, information, or the like, by writing, speaking, signs, etc." To me, communication is making connections. Take Helen Keller for instance. She wasn't able to communicate until she learned to connect objects with words. But she didn't stop there. Despite the fact that her physical senses may have been limited, she used her whole self to make connections with others.

Those are the connections that are the foundation for effective communication. It is part of a cycle: The more you connect with people, the stronger your communication becomes; the stronger your communication, the better you connect with people. So how do you go about strengthening those connections? By spreading value and by concentrating on what you can add to a situation, as opposed to what you can get from it. When you do this, you find that people are more receptive to you, they want to listen to you, be with you, and work with you because of the value you're adding.

The Power of Communication

Most of the time, we think of communication as talking. I talk to you, you talk back to me—we're communicating. But to me, there is a larger definition of communication that has to do with seeing your place in the world. To me, communication is a threefold process.

It begins with a deep and rich understanding of the environment in which we live—an open, ongoing awareness of everything around you so that you are able to take advantage of every situation in which you find yourself. Second, it is a deep and rich understanding of the people around you, your contacts and connections, so that you may bring value to them. And third, it is delivering that value.

Step 1:
Understand your environment. Communication is most effective when undertaken from a strong vantage point, when you have the highest awareness of what is going on around you. As Ming-Dao Deng says in his book, 365 Tao: Daily Meditations, "...a wise person who lives high in the mountains and who is not blinded by...intellectuality, poor health or greed, will be better able to see events in the distance than one who lives in a closed room, eyes on some obscure project. A storm does not happen abruptly, it takes hours, sometimes days to develop. Travelers do not arrive suddenly. They can be seen in the distance. Knowing things in advance is possible with a high vantage point." A practical interpretation of that passage means that it's critical to "work from the mountaintop."
Here's an example of how this works. I have a product that I'm marketing. I want to connect with a particular company even though I don't know anyone there. I start at the top, and call CEO of that company first. I explain my reason for calling, and she likes what she hears.
She says, "I want you to call my vice president of product development. I give the green light, but I want him to look into this." I say I would, but first I ask her, "What are some of the challenges your company is going through, and what is your overall goal?" She tells me what her company is trying to accomplish, and what challenges they face.
Now that this vision is communicated to me, I can speak to the vice president of product development with a focused understanding of the company's vision and how my product can help them reach their goals. My communication becomes much stronger when the link comes from people who have a bigger picture of what's going on. Obviously, the CEO has the clearest view of how the company works. By starting from that position, I am working from the strongest vantage point.
Step 2:
Understand the people around you. Focus on other people's goals and challenges. You'll be amazed at the many ways you find you can be of service to others. Simply by really listening to the other person, you are strengthening your connection and building rapport. It creates a comfort level that enables communication to be relaxed and natural. That caring and connection will always come back to you in the circle of things, without you having to ask.
Step 3:
Deliver the value. Follow through on actions you said you'd take. If you promised to introduce someone to another person in your circle, do so. If you find a magazine article or book that might be of interest, recommend it (or send it directly to them). Write thank you notes. Do whatever you can to be true to your word and your purpose.